I woke up on the morning of Thanksgivin' and found myself in the middle of the street.
Then I found myself speeding through Florida in a rental car.
Then I saw a sign that lead to Savannah so I headed towards that direction.
It was time for a pit stop so I pulled over to the closest airport I could find because I'm too good for rest areas and truck stops.
It just so happened my parents were there because they decided to spend the Thanksgivin' weekend in Savannah.
So we decided to all hang out together and piled into the rental car.
Mrs. H starts to unpack her crap.
I'm waiting patiently for the crap unpacking to end.
We decided to walk around the streets of Savannah all dressed up and on the search for some food...Thanksgivin' style.
We encountered a pretty steep stairway and Mrs. H was very careful.
Mission accomplished!
Me and Mrs. H hangin' out on the riverside.
Christmas boats rule.
Don't ask me why they just do.
MORE STAIRS!
The next morning we headed over to Tybee Island to see if there was anything to make fun of.
We found a huge pavilion...I guess that was something we could make fun of.
But first we had to take a nice picture on the beach.
Then Mrs. H spotted something off in the distance within the pavilion.
This huge fake 2-dimensional ice cream cone was meltin' fast!
She was catching those drips for a while.
About an hour later Mrs. H decided to finish it off since no one else would.
Mrs. H and I are trying our best to not look like tourists.....
.....but Mrs. H couldn't keep it in for long.....
.....and started to do Hammer Time!
Then she attempted to steer the pavilion out to sea, but surprisingly did not have any luck.
A bird was stealing cheetos and I totally caught it red-handed.
Mrs. H scared away all the lil' thieves.
The view was nice but Mrs. H thought it was a little brisk.
As did I.
It's a somewhat nice picture.
Danger is nearby so Mr. and Mrs. H are off to save the world!
After saving the world we decided to see what was going on in Christy's Department Store.
Mrs. H loves to try on many hats and catch lice.
Tybee gets a decent review.
.....Ma'am.
Mr. H decided to join in on the fun.
Mrs. H was happy.
I would have been happy too if I wasn't worried about that dang crab gettin' all in my face!
Mrs. H was going to catch the crab but her plan backfired.
Then we all headed over to Tybee Island Light Station to see if it was cool.
But first Mrs. H had to try on a flower.
The flower was too pretty so she chomped on it to remind all of the gorgeous plants who's the boss.
I stood back and watched because I have my fair share of teeth marks.
It's time to go up this thing!
Mrs. H had to waste valuable climbing time signing the guest book.
Now it's time to go up this thing!
She had to look out every single window to confirm that we are indeed going up.
Mr. H just stood and watched the nonsense.
And Mrs. H continued to act like a crazy lady.
Still going up.
Mrs. H was able to get Mr. H to act crazy.
We're almost there.....
.....we made it so Mrs. H began to act like Rocky!
Mrs. H didn't realize how high it was actually going to be up there.
She was just hoping there weren't any hurricanes anywhere nearby to blow her off.
Her favorite spot was right next to the door.
Me and a nervous Mrs. H way up high.
Mr. H and I are much more calm.
"D'at bulb in d'er lite house must be ginormous."
View from da house!
View of da houses!
Mrs. H still isn't too sure about climbing up the lighthouse.
Mr. H pushed her towards the edge to show Mrs. H a better view.
While I was walking around Mrs. H scared me as she was peaking through a window.
Apparently she had enough of the balcony view and her annoying first born son.
It's time to go down this thing!
Mrs. H deserved her certificate after all that hard work.
We totally went up and down this thing!
Mrs. H is still showin' off the documentation.
Now it's time to blow this popsicle stand.
And we went across the street to a fort called Battery Garland.
They had many different action figures inside.....
Here we have a friar forcing an Indian to worship his God or else he will take away that sacred feather.
And here is a pirate forcing his first mate to worship his God or else he'll shoot him in his own grave.
And here is a British man forcing an Indian man to worship his God or else he will take his Indian daughter as a slave.
O' happy day!
Mrs. H is trying not to be so white.
Mr. H was quick to point out a black bell.
Mrs. H didn't care too much and just wanted to find the way out.
We saw the light and headed towards it.
The light was quite bright.
It was so bright Mrs. H wandered right into a booby trap and didn't even know it.
As Will Smith would say in the #1 summer blockbuster hit of 1996 Independence Day, "WHOOO, LOW BRIDGE!!!"
Mrs. H was trying to find the light house we just went up in.
It's time for another decent picture.
We're goin' back in da fort!
I do a killer impression of a creepy doll.
It's not nearly as good as Mrs. H's though.
This part of the fort was kind of weird and a little too girly so we left fairly soon.
I found a toy tank to squeeze in to so that was pretty sweet.
And then I sat on this deformed plastic dog afterwards.
I wasn't too sure if this room was more strange or if it was the room with the dolls.
I tried to be cool like Mrs. H and tried to drive the fort like she was driving the pavilion.
This is kinda creepy...I'm talking about the sailor of course.
We all had enough of this fort so it was time to trash this place and then leave once and for all!
There was a nice view of the fake beach waiting right outside for us.
I love fake beaches.
Me and Mrs. H decided to walk around the Historic District in Savannah again.
Mrs. H loves to show off Christmas trees that she had no part in decorating.
Mrs. H also loves to play it cool in any town with an Historic District.
MUST...BUY.....OVERPRICED CUPCAKES!!!
Mrs. H couldn't get enough of those creepy lookin' trees.
It wasn't real so Mrs. H doesn't have rabies.....at least for now.
The moss on these trees are quite peculiar.
I try my best to act cool in front of any brick wall I can find.
Mrs. H looks cool no matter where she's at or what she's in front of.
Savannah is a festive place this time of year!
It's also a good place to make out with midget bears that cook fried Southern food.
It's time to get another picture with the tree that Mrs. H had no part in decorating.
Seriously, they don't even need to try and they can still be hilarious.
It's time to see a Christmas show!
But first Mrs. H must act like a creepy Santa doll for fifteen minutes.
And now it's time for the Christmas show.
There's all kinds of singin', gigglin', dancin', prancin' and back flippin' at this thing.
Even Rudolph eventually showed up for this high class production!
After an hour of this Christmas craziness here's the review so far at intermission.
Apparently it just wouldn't be a Christmas show without four Elvis impersonators on the stage.
After two hours of this spectacle show of Christmas who-ha it was over and done with.
Mrs. H was very pleased with the production as she always is with any theatrical show.
One day Mrs. H will have the honor of suiting up as Frosty as long as she works hard and never gives up.
On the walk back to the hotel Mrs. H became a little loopy from the sugar in those cupcakes.
It's time to call it a night.
It's the next morning and Mrs. H does her best impression of the famous Bird Girl statue in Savannah.
A huge barge heads it way into the fourth busiest port in America.
Call me a wuss if you must, but after being used to a temperate climate for two years it was a little chilly.
Mrs. H does her impression of a tug boat even though Mr. H kept saying that was a ferry.
After the tug boat impression Mrs. H decided to keep practicing her Bird Girl statue.
We ended up running into the Waving Girl statue so Mrs. H started doing her best impression of that instead.
Mrs. H was also quick to point out that this girl has some serious clog hoppers.
It's time for the Waving Girl to say goodbye to us once and for all.
And Mrs. H had to work on some new material so she started out with a Gilligan's Island impression.
We were sick of the Historic District after a while so we drove back out to Tybee Island to eat at The Crab Shack.
Mrs. H was welcoming customers into the shack.
This petrified gator wasn't very impressive.
Although this purple mask on the other hand was quite impressive.
Mrs. H was also impressed with this lil' guy and wanted to take it home.
Mr. H was not impressed with that crap at all, but was drawn towards some real live alligators instead.
Aren't they impressive?
Mrs. H wasn't too sure if "impressive" was the right word to use.
It's time for yet another decent family picture on the bridge with all of the little hungry gators underneath our toes.
Goin' into da shack.
I was quite impressed and honestly in awe of the size of The Crab Shack.
Mrs. H didn't really care anymore and was just a little chilly.
She warmed right up by staying behind this wall though.
This petrified alligator looked a little lonely so I gave it some good ol' Brian Hogan lovin'.
Mrs. H dances to the show!
Thus concludes our adventure at The Crab Shack.
We're back in Savannah and surrounded by the creepy trees!
I am clearly ecstatic.
We found a rehearsal going on for a Christmas tree lighting ceremony that was happening later at night.
Mrs. H was clearly ecstatic.
And as you can see it was quite an exciting rehearsal going on.
We decided to walk the streets of Savannah one last time.
Don't mess with Mr. H! YOU STEPIN'?!?!?!
WE OWN THESE STREETS!!!
After owning the streets of Savannah we felt that we actually achieved something during the Thanksgivin' weekend, and so now was the time to drive back to the airport where our adventure together first began.
Me and my parents (a.k.a. Mr. and Mrs. H) headed off towards our separate ways knowing that we have successfully conquered yet another city. Watch out though...YOUR TOWN COULD BE NEXT!!!
THE END
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