I decided to go out for a spin in my slick Zebra striped airplane during the weekend of my birthday to celebrate, but due to low visibility I didn't see a plastic mountain straight ahead and crashed. Luckily I have plenty of experience of jumping out of burning planes so I was able to make it out just fine.
I ended up at one of the many Congo River mini golf courses in central Florida and I figured I would celebrate my birthday here because the sign said it would be a good idea.
I was going to turn on my awesome BriGuy spotlight to let my friends know where I was and to hang out with me, but once again due to low visibility no one would have seen it. So I had a gator bite a few of my toes and I screamed to the top of my lungs for everyone to hear.
Sure enough, Chad showed up along with some stiff dude that wanted to join, but we scared him off by pointing out the burning plane I crashed.
It didn't take long for me to discover that Congo River can be a very dangerous place.
Chad was going to help me get out but he was busy fighting a head hunter.
Chris showed up and he was excited to find someone's yellow golf ball since he didn't feel like paying to play 18 holes in the congo.
Chad used his x-ray vision to see what the sign said in front and was surprised to find out Hole 2 was a Par 2.
Chris was busy practicing his new dance move he's gonna try out at the club.
We found Chad's wife, Erin, yelling at a guy who spent too much time in the quick sand. Then she got out before sinking and decided to play mini golf with us.
Chad didn't tell us he brought his own special semi-automatic putter gun.
Erin was hiding in the grass and didn't know Chad was on the hunt.
But Chad shot me instead of his wife because of my reptile resemblance.
We found Julie later on and discovered that she's an accountant by day but the Congo Queen by night! She got off of her throne and also joined us in a mini-golf round.
I heard Zambeze was nice to visit but for Chad IT WAS MILANO OR BUST!!!
After visiting Milano for a while we headed back to Florida and met up with a bunch more friends!
Ray, Marcus and Christian enjoyed watching another guy die in quick sand.
Chad just made it in the hole.
It's the traditional rocking out celebration for making the putt.
And now it's the traditional beat the crap out of the guy who gets stuck between a plastic stalactite and stalagmite.
Chad got stuck afterwards but Erin thought it was just amusing.
I couldn't handle seeing the horror of what plastic caves can do to a man.
Marcus and Christian came into the cave soon after and thought, "wow, someone could really get hurt from that."
Chad focuses on the next hole.
Then he spotted a few tortoises that he wanted to pick off and Chris watched.
Erin was making out with a hot totem pole while his husband was killing slow moving animals.
Julie and I haven't been in the blog for a while ssoooooo....here we are.
Chris discovers where the hole is but Chad couldn't care less which direction his finger is pointing.
After completing the hole Chad does his impression of a flamingo holding a putter.
I haven't had any alcohol.....I just like to hang out with totem poles who could potentially be my MySpace friend.
Jeremy is most likely thinking about deleting me from his MySpace friends.
It can be tough trekking through the congo at times, but fortunately Chad was able to get a fresh beverage.
Chris was suddenly too cool to hang out with all of us so he had to text his non-lame friends. He had to find out which club they are going to so he can meet up with them later to show off his new dance moves with the putter.
If there's one thing that terrifies Julie.....it's rope bridges.
Chris studies the cave drawings left by the last group of mini-golfers while Chad looks directly into the camera flash.
Chris told me this would help me pick up chicks so I better carry a long box around with me to lay on. Look out ladies!!!!
Good action shot by Chris.
Another good action shot by Chris.
Good Brian/waterfall shot by me.
.....he totally is, but only in this shot.
Erin's legs were tired so she had to find a place to sit down.
Then she discovered some genuine Congo River fools gold!
Chad spotted some caged birds that must be destroyed before we left the cave for good.
Chad doesn't have the best balance but Erin's always there to help.
Besides shooting things with is special semi-automatic putter gun he's also good at cleaning out noses on spewing stone faces.
Julie concentrates putting on the unlevel ground.
Someone lost there ball in the treacherous congo mini golf river!
Just before all hope was lost Erin flies in to save the day and snags the golf ball.
Chad likes to show off how manly he is whenever he gets the chance.
Julie has overcame her fear of rope bridges and also has perfect balance no matter how the bridge sways.
I, on the other hand, continued to walk the same way I do when I'm not on a swaying rope bridge.
Chad plays the 18th hole while Chris is playing it cool.
Afterwards, Chris is still playing it cool and checks out the rad prizes in the claw machine at the arcade hut.
Ray also likes to play it cool by looking like that spewing stone face while shootin' hoops.
It was time to gather up as many people as we could for a group shot.
But Ray and Malek were too busy playing a serious game of air hockey.
Stacy came in to yell at both of them while I was busy getting a good action shot.
Everyone was mesmerized by the cheap prizes inside the glowing dome.....well, everyone except for Christian. He was just plain happy.
Marcus, me and Christian decided to take a church small group picture. We'll most likely be sending this out next Christmas.
We all head in for a group discussion about what we should do next while Ray makes soothing congo noises.
It's the end of the mini-golf adventure at Congo River, and even though I destroyed my slick Zebra striped airplane I still had a fantastic time hanging out with great friends to celebrate how old and annoying I will soon become as I age horribly.
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