A Visit To Sanibel Island

Javan and I left Orlando for a few days and took a trip down to Sanibel Island. It was loads of fun filled with beaches, stuffed birds, cheesy gift shops, light up frisbees, shell museums AND SO MUCH MORE!!!!! Don't believe me? Take a look.






Javan cleans his windshield as we prepare for a bombardment of various Florida bugs while driving south of Orlando.






Driving pass the Mickey Mouse power lines indicates that you are officially out of the Orlando area.






We were excited.






When we arrived at Sanibel Island, Javan was looking all over for the ocean.






I found it first.






Javan continued to search on his own.






Javan had a good feeling about this sign.






I had a good feeling about these signs as well, but I forgot where I parked so I couldn't pay the island meter.






Javan challenged the beach walkway crooked match.






I was getting ready to go streaking on the beach.....






.....but I didn't see the sign from above until Javan pointed it out.






I became quite the disgruntled beach streaker wannabe.






Javan gets a closer look at the ground by cheating with his fancy lens.






He heard me make this witty remark at the time and was furious!






But he calmed down when he noticed there was an ocean to photograph.






As you can see, Javan and I hate the beach.






The gulf was attacking me and I didn't know what to do.






Meanwhile, Javan had his own problems with right hand attacking his face and he also didn't know what to do.






After an battle of survival for our lives throughout the night I discovered a sign the next morning that confused me tremendously.






We discovered we were at the Clinic of Rehabilitation of Wildlife, which was the perfect place for Javan challenge stuffed birds to a staring contest.






While Javan was busy with his latest competition I took a quick visit to the fiery pits of hell and took a look at an interesting assortment of skulls.






Then I made my way back up to Sanibel Island and skinned a leopard to pass the time while Javan continued to stare down some more stuffed birds.






I had to at least give him some credit for his determination.






Javan was getting fed up by his loss from another stuffed bird, but he continued to challenge all of Sanibel's inanimate wildlife.






Javan waited patiently for this frightened stuffed bird to make it's way down for a staring match.....






.....while I kept myself occupied by observing some Sanibel wood chips.






Javan was getting irritated by all of his losses from the staring contest that he was ready to shoot some stuff birds and then re-stuff them.....






.....but he decided not to and continued to play fair and square.






I was getting a little freaking out when the stuffed birds were flying around on wires somehow.






And then when the pelicans came out I knew it was time to go.






We set out for an adventure at the J.N. "Ding" Darling National Wildlife Refuge and Javan was ready to compete with a non-stuffed bird.






I was scared of the wildlife.....






.....so I stayed in the car and took pictures.






Even though it was a pain to get back inside from the sunroof it was still worth it!






Javan convinced me that we should see where this walkway leads to.






I nervously went along.






There was a lake at the end of the walkway.....






.....along with tiny crabs!






I had enough and screamed all the way back to the car.






Then Javan found some kind of fort.






Complete with a quarterless lookout scope.






I needed no such thing!






Then Javan destroyed it because it refused to compete against him in a staring contest.






A little bit further down the road we had a good view of some brown water at which point I had reached my capacity of enjoyment with the nature in Sanibel.






I took a look at the map of Sanibel Island to see if we could find something amusing close by.






It didn't take long to find this crazy critter!






I was totally showing off my driving skills.






Javan thought I was having too much fun on this playground.....






.....and I probably was.






I took a quick break from the playground and was hanging out with a fake owl.






Then I began to torment the poor thing.






But the owl was still cool with me.






Licking fake ice cream cones is always enjoyable.....






.....but not as enjoyable as licking fake owls.





Side-splitting picture.






Gut-busting picture.






Knee-slapping picture.






Javan didn't know how to react after this psychic puppet told him he will never win in a staring contest against stuffed birds.






He then asked a gator puppet to gnaw on his arm for a while so that the pain can take his focus away from his inevitable future.






GIANT SANIBEL HEDGE!!!!!






Later at night, Javan was ready to take on anything that comes his way in Sanibel.....






.....with a light up frisbee!






I accepted his challenge!






Javan was ready for battle.







As was I.






Even though neither of us had died it was an ugly match.






The next morning, me and Javan were looking around for the sunrise.






Javan was prepared to shoot it down.






I found the sunrise.






Later that day, I demanded to find a Mile 0 sign on the beach somewhere. Luckily, (for everyone's sake who was on that island) I was able to find one within a reasonable distance.






Me and Javan also found the Sanibel Island Lighthouse.






I always get loud around lighthouses for some reason.






I also get a mad hunger for vegetation.






I then became mad with rage and caught myself in a dead tree.






It wasn't looking too good for me and Javan just kept taking pictures.






Javan wasn't too sure if the lighthouse was structurally sound enough to be around it.....






.....so he prepared himself to catch it at any given moment.






Later that day, we took a visit to The Bailey-Matthews Shell Museum where Javan encountered a psychic puppet crustacean who also told him to give up on his dreams for winning any staring contests against stuffed birds.






I was a tad alarmed by my background.






Javan was cool with his background.






I was amazed at how many sea shells I was looking at fully knowing that I wouldn't have the chance to drop them on the floor.






I tried to pick up a globe instead.






Javan playing the game "Find a Shell" and he won.






I couldn't find any during the game.






The Calusa father was telling his Calusa son how to kill a man with this particular shell in three different ways before they hit the ground.






I was a little worried I could be have been a potential target so I figured it was time to vamoose.






Nature's colors are not nearly as impressive as Crayola's 120 crayon box.






This fella was a little scary, but I was happy it was enclosed in this futuristic air-tight spheroid.






But there is no spheroid known to man that can withstand the might squid and it eventually escaped, but Javan saved the day by eating it raw.






Saving the day makes Javan competitive, so he was on the lookout for any traces of stuffed birds for a good ol' fashion stare down!






There was a stuffed raccoon nearby who was willing to accept Javan's challenge, but Javan doesn't have time to deal with masked animals.






While Javan was on the lookout for stuffed birds I had problems of my own with the Calusa people ready to sneak attack me at any given moment.






I'm almost certain "Gooeeduck" means gluteus maximus in Calusa.






A nearby shell audience laughed hysterically at my low brow butt joke.






One dude even laughed so hard he painfully broke his foot.






At this point it was about time to leave the Shell Museum before I was to be blamed for any foot injuries.






Me and Javan were ready to go back to Orlando and screamed all the way out of Sanibel Island.






We reached the one and only exit of the island.....






.....and it just hit us that this was the real deal.






On our way back we somehow ran into the entrance of hell.






I had already been there once during the trip so I was not happy where Javan was driving.






But we quickly found America so it was nice to be back on track.






I thought I spotted EPCOT on the side of the road but it was a false alarm.






We eventually spotted the Mickey Mouse power lines and we were certain that home was getting closer.






Soon after we found ourselves in front of the awe-inspiring skyline of Orlando.






And then we made it back to the jungle...I mean the house.





Fin.