An Afternoon at the Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World

My friend Theresa and I took a trip to the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World during one afternoon to have some good ol' fashion theme park fun!








If there's one thing that frightens me it's getting my backpack checked by the Disney Police.








Theresa was a brave soul and went first.








I couldn't bear to watch because it can get ugly with the Disney Police.








After smuggling all of our drugs into the Magic Kingdom I spotted a Mickey garden and was quick to point it out for my camera.








Thanks to my huge head I covered most of it up quite nicely.








I saw the biggest plastic pumpkin you'd ever seen!








Theresa saw a plastic scarecrow and she thought it looked like a lot of fun to frighten off any nearby plastic crows.







Then I got jealous and I wanted to join in on the fun, but Theresa was bored acting like a scarecrow and started to do the robot dance instead.








I think this is a cryogenically frozen Disney relative along with a cryogenically frozen Minnie Mouse.








I was hitting on the frozen Minnie for a good hour and she just kept looking away.








Then I started to get to know this guy, but when I found out he was interested in button collecting I knew it was going to go nowhere.








Behold!!! The giant plastic castle that is slightly leaning to the right.








Theresa ordered lunch at this Ye Olde English restaurant and was pleased with what they brought her.








I was very disappointed in the very few Ye Olde English fries they gave me.







Apparently we ate at the Liberty Tree Tavern and it was Theresa's final restaurant to go to before she could say she has eaten at ALL THE DISNEY SIT-DOWN RESTAURANTS!







I would have been excited if I just had a few more Ye Old fries.







Someone must have tipped off the Disney Police because they caught us for smuggling in drugs.







After our ten minute punishment we made our way over to The Haunted Mansion since all the cool people were over they and we wanted to try our best to fit in.







The bat on the top of the gate really looks pleasing with Cinderella's castle in the background.







It's a one-of-a-kind Disney cockroach!







We almost upchucked our Ye Old English lunch.







The construction machinery behind the castle really brings out the magic.







It was time to pull that blasted sword out of the stone, but I wanted to push it in instead since I was pretty sure no one has ever tried that strategy before.







That didn't seem to work so I went with Plan B and tried pulling it with my pinky since I don't think anyone has ever done that either.







That sword in the stone was getting nowhere and Theresa was interested in looking at a elephant hedge instead.







Then something caught my eye.....







.....IT WAS THAT SILLY OLD BEAR!!!







I was so excited and I yelled out "POOOOOOOOHHHH!!!" Nobody around thought I was weird at all.







We bumped into some alien from Lilo & Stitch and Theresa had a thing for him. I couldn't understand why though, but then again I only have a thing for people and animals who are cryogenically frozen.







We were waiting in line to go on the Buzz Lightyear ride and I couldn't resist touching the Power Center.







I found out instantaneously that I probably should have left the Power Center alone.







They should really fence that area off or something.







Buzz had to conduct a military briefing before we got on the ride.








But I chose to be a rebel and didn't listen.







Then he was all up in my grill sayin', "LOOK HERE SON, IF YOU'RE GONNA DEFEAT ZURG YOU NEED TO......" at that point I stopped listening again.







But it's alright because Theresa and I had fun shooting the laser gun at a bunch of crap.







You see, we were totally into it and shooting crap left and right.







Still, Buzz didn't like our attitude so he through us in Disney jail with Zurg.







Then some friendly space ranger came over and let us out. He was a little too friendly and it got weird.







Stitch was showin' off his Spider-Man moves and off course I couldn't allow that to happen so I showed him what's up.







I had this feeling that Walt's cryogenically frozen body was nearby.







Then a show started right in front of the castle so we checked it out.







Mickey asked Minnie to dance but I totally got up there and served Mickey right in front of his girl.







Then the show came to a complete hault and Mickey started to talk to the audience about investments, stocks, bonds, etc.







I'm sure it was all very interesting but I saw a magic bean lying on the ground so I picked it up and ate it.







I started to feel funny and realized I was beginning to grow.....







.....and grow.....







.....AND GROW!!!!!







The show started up again and Mickey and Minnie were being raised on some kind of platform.







I had the best seat in the house for the show.







But I couldn't take it anymore when they started to make out.







I was furious and wanted to destroy the stage but before I could they shot off a bunch of Disney fireworks to knock me out.







When I came to the magic bean wore off and I somehow ended up on the train circling around the park.







I got off at Toon Town and pointed out another plastic pumpkin for my camera.







Theresa and I met up right at Mickey's house so we decided to go inside and take a look.







Mickey's bedroom needed a little cleaning.







He has quite a few suits in the closet, but I hear he's always hittin' the poker tables at night so that's probably why.







Theresa took Mickey's huge plastic keys in case we decide to steal his huge plastic car.







Hangin' out in the plastic living room.







I took a load off for a while and helped myself to some mouthwash.







Something was seriously wrong with the fireplace so that definitely needs to be fixed.







Theresa couldn't believe how filthy this house was.







Seriously, what does Mickey do at night?







D'em are some big plastic pants.







AND THAT WAS ANOTHER BIG PLASTIC PUMPKIN!!!







Now it's time to enter Minnie's house.







Theresa and I were welcomed right away with a portrait opportunity as we sat on the comfortable plastic couch.







BUT SERIOUSLY...somebody needs to fix those fireplaces!







Theresa didn't care about the fireplace and cranked up the Black Eyed Peas on the radio.







Then she had the sudden urge to do some pottery.







And I started to do some alterations on Minnie's quilt.







We saw Minnie's To-Do list and realized she was probably going to be out all day since most of the things she has to do are for Mickey. You know, because she is MICKEY'S SLAVE!







So Theresa helped herself to all the plastic food she could eat.







We sat down for a while and started to talk about Mickey's thoughts on investments we hear about earlier in the day.







Then we sat down in the back porch and continued our discussion on Mickey's thoughts on stocks and bonds.







The "Daisies" told us to scram because we were too boring.







But before we left Theresa snagged some of Minnie's plastic cheese.







I couldn't handle all of the plastic pumpkins I was seeing all over the place.







So to get my mind off of those pumpkins I climbed up on the first balcony I could find and started yelling at tourists because that always puts me at ease.







We checked out Pirates of the Caribbean because I wanted to climb up on something else.







Then we waited in line to go on the ride and I saw the most exciting game of chess played by skeletons.







We're on the ride and ready to see Johnny Depp.







I jumped onto another boat and sailed away with this skeleton though because it was love at first sight. Her name is Scarlet and it was fun to sail the seven plastic seas at Disney. Of course, later on I found out that she was really into button collecting and I broke up with her because I know it just wasn't going to work out.








I found Mr. Depp and was whispering to him why he was hiding.







Johnny wouldn't talk to me so I helped myself to some rum down the street.







Then I saw that there were some prisoners trying to get a dog to bring them the key to their burning cell. Luckily I trained the dog to stay and the prisoners were melted into a plastic puddle.







We couldn't resist but to try on all the pirate crap in the gift shop.







Then we realize that we were accidentally handcuffed to each other.







We got the handcuffs off but it flug into my right eye, which was not good but I still thought it was kinda funny.







Theresa felt bad so she flug the handcuffs into her eye and we took another fine picture.







I needed to even things out with the other eye because I'm all about balance.







When my vision came back I was on a roller coaster.







It was surprising but loads o' fun!







I found out afterwards it was Big Thunder Mountain and we both gave the ol' thumbs up on the coaster with loads o' fun.







I can't believe Theresa got me to do this for a picture...but when I really think about it I actually can believe it.







Theresa was sick and tired of Minnie's plastic food and looked up some recipes for some real food that's served at Disney.







After having all that fun it was time to get going so we took a quick picture with Mickey hats and threw them right back into the bin. SUCKERS!!!





THE END!