A Trip to the Kwik-E-Mart

Whether it's a slew of enormous billboards or a shrunken down plastic mold to fit inside a Happy Meal, every summer blockbuster film has to be promoted in some form to get us Americans to realize that it's "coming to a theater soon." And with The Simpson's Movie being released into theaters this summer, Fox has jumped on the promotional bandwagon in an effort to hype up the recognizable cartoon family that has been living within our televisions for several years. But this isn't a typical promotion, which is fantastic! 7-Eleven is getting a lot of customers into their stores now-a-days...and better yet they actually seem to enjoy going into the stores! At least this is what I saw when I visited one of the dozen 7-Eleven stores that was changed into a Kwik-E-Mart to promote The Simpson's Movie. I just found it to be kind of neat to see people spending longer than five minutes inside a 7-Eleven when they're not even waiting in line to pay at the cash register. In fact, I've never seen so many people in a 7-Eleven taking photographs and video taping inside a store! So what's inside these make-believe convenience stores do you ask? To be honest not too much. It's mostly just a bunch of plastic cutouts of characters from the television show, which are kinda cool but kinda not too exciting either. They do sell KrustyO's and Buzz Cola at the stores, which are products featured from the cartoon series for those who don't know. From my understanding though there's only a few 7-Eleven stores in the country that have become a "full-blown Kwik-E-Mart" so I went to visit the closest one near me in Kissimmee to check it out. Unfortunately though, when I visited the store they were out of KrustyO's and Buzz Cola, which in the long run is probably a good thing for me. I don't know if the pictures are really that great but the best part about this trip for me was seeing so many happy people in a 7-Eleven.










Here's what a Kwik-E-Mart looks like from the outside.








Here's what I look like outside...with a Kwik-E-Mart sign behind me.








Millhouse (a.k.a. The House) and Bart enjoy a refreshing Squishy while dangerously sitting above about 35 feet from the ground on a nice summer day.








Comic Book Guy enjoys a light read but enjoys a light snack even more no doubt.








Marge is off stealing more groceries again.








I was gonna say "Hi" but she was too busy stealing groceries.








A shiny Apu welcomed me into the store and demonstrated how he likes to wear his baseball caps.








Chief Wiggum wouldn't leave me alone and kept asking me if I've seen his son.








It turned out Ralph was in the store licking some expired corn dogs Apu threw out in the back.








I remember how much I used to love playing around coffee when I was a baby.








This was the best reference to the show! After seeing the freezer geezer I had a hankerin' for a chili dog.








They were all out of chili dogs and Ralph was still working on the last two expired corn dogs.








There wasn't any Buzz Cola around, which was a shame because I was ready to fill my stomach with acidic-goodness.








Chief Wiggum and I bumped into each other again so we thought we'd get a picture together to show off on our Myspace pages.








They had a few of these little print outs taped up on the walls and were kind of lame...so I only took one picture of these because I didn't want to fill up my memory card with lameness. That job is already taken by me!








Ehh....bunly.








If anyone knows how to enjoy a bunly kind of food, it's Homer Simpson.








But that jerk won't share the bunly goodness!








After spending half the day in the make believe Kwik-E-Mart I decided it was time to go, but I spotted a Squishy machine and I just HAD to get one!








Now it's time for me and my Blue Vanilla Squishy to go out and enjoy the rest of the day!








But by nightfall I felt a little strange and was SIMPSONIZED into a character after being exposed to all the promotional movie crap that has surrounded us all during the late month of July. I was fine with it though.....I really liked how my shirt came out.






Fin.

Pepsi 400 in Daytona Beach

The Daytona Beach bridge was very kind for welcoming everyone.






I'm ready to see my first Daytona race!






I forgot I needed to wear my camouflage hat so NOW I'm officially ready to see my first Daytona race.






These fine people are also ready for some hardcore racin'.






Here I am inside the forbidden Pepsi race car that was on DISPLAY ONLY. As you can see the car was a little too small for my huge body.






Now we're inside the stadium where people are partying hard down on the huge lawn. There's no rules at Daytona...except for staying off the huge Pepsi 400 logo in the grass.






...and to also stay off the huge Daytona logo.






Here are some people playing some crappy music on the Pepsi 400 stage.






My friends Erin and Chad were excited about the race, but they also did not care too much for the crappy band on the Pepsi 400 stage.






The Goodyear blimp finally decided to show up.






Rudolf Giuliani and his wife decided to take over the Pepsi 400 stage for a little while.






Someone forgot to bring the green flag for the beginning of the race so UPS had to deliver it in the coolest way possible.






The UPS dude is makin' his way to that awesome Pepsi 400 stage with the green flag.






Then the Army showed up and had to show off their flag.






And if that wasn't enough, the government sent some fighter jets by to top it off.






I was sort of impressed.






Chad was impressed enough to take a few 2.1 megapixel pics with his camera.






Oh crap, someone's stealing the Pepsi 400 stage very slowly!







The fighter jets had some more fuel to waste so they came back for another lap around the stadium.






There's one of them.....






.....and there it goes.






Now the drivers are revin' up their engines.






Erin waits ever-so patiently for the race to start.






They're making their way off to the track.






It's time for Chad to focus on the race.






I didn't know this before, but they make a few laps around the track before they actually start the race.






So here they are going by real slow-like.






It was sorta fast...but not too fast.






Here they come for another warm-up lap.






One more lap and then it's time for the race to officially begin.






The race finally began and I was excited for race cars, loud noises and Pepsi.






I quickly learned that race fans love noise and to provide more of it in addition to the automobiles they have megaphones all around the stadium.






One of the megaphones was fairly close to our seats and it was very annoying after a while.






So I climbed up the pole and stuck the biggest cork I could find in it.






The cars are kickin' it into high gear.






Here they are again.






After all that excitement I had to go pee.






But because the stadium was so large I couldn't find the bathroom right away.






I knew at this point time was of the essence.....






.....and there was only one thing I could do.






I had to get up on the beams and bust out my Spider-Man moves to find a bathroom quickly.






I swung around low at first.....






.....then I went high and got a little scared.






But I soon overcame the fear of heights and started sliding around for fun.






This move was sick! I don't know if I could do it again.






I was getting a little dizzy so I decided to come in for a landing.






I realized that I just landed right in front of the Men's room.






Then I remembered why I was swinging around in the first place and quickly ran into the bathroom.






It was the greatest pee ever.






Then I realized that I was missing the Pepsi 400 race and needed to get back to my seat quickly.






I wanted to take it easy and just use the stairs.....






.....but stairs are for suckers so I got back up on the beams again.






I found a decent spot to watch the race but it was a bit uncomfortable.






Then I wanted to get a closer look so I threw a quarter near a police officer and climbed the fence when she wasn't looking.






I should have looked both ways before I crossed the road because I almost got hit, but on the upside there was a pretty sweet crash that everyone seemed to have enjoyed.






Sorry dude.






Really, I'm sorry. Dude.






After that I went back to my seat and watched the race quietly while Chad was going nuts behind me.






Here are some cars going around.....






.....and around.....






.....and around....






.....and around some more.






Chad is once again focused in on the race.






WHOOAAAA....SWEET CRASH!!!






Here it comes skidding down the road.






It made it on the lawn but at least it didn't run over the Pepsi 400 logo.






I got up to the highest point I could in the bleachers to take this picture.






I got scared from being up so high again so I went back to my seat.






Here's a nice picture of Erin, Chad and ME! ME, ME, ME!!!!!






It's the last lap for the night and the cars are making it towards the finish line while another car crash is happening in the back.






The race is over!






Here's the loser car!






FIREWORKS!!!!!






The loser car had to get out of the way so that the winner car could drive around in the lawn.






Yeah...you tear up that lawn!






And pollute the air!






The fireworks are still going on.






And now the winner is up on some stage celebrating with other people. I don't know where the other drivers are but I'm sure they are being punished in some inhumane way.






Now that the Pepsi 400 is over it was time for the spectators to leave, but I stuck around because I was no mere spectator. No, I'm much more than that. I cannot belong in that crowd because I'm not like them. I'm different. But the good kind of different...not the freak kind of different. The kind of different that is essentially a very special gift. I have the gift, I have the power. And with great power comes great responsibility. That is why I cannot live the life of a spectator. I must stay in the stadium at Daytona Beach and swing around all day hoping to find another bathroom. For I am.....The BriGuy.




The End?