8.20.2008

Top Secret Comic Book

As I arrived home one late evening I noticed a large envelope in the kitchen that was addressed to me. It was from my friends Chris and Leah Karner, so I knew this was going to be good! I carefully pulled out the package, which was protected from a piece of cereal box inside and labeled in permanent marker "Top Secret." I quickly found a safe and secure area to view the classified documents that were kept within the well-built container. It appeared at first to just be an ordinary comic book featuring a few of the world's most beloved Marvel characters, but as I opened this classified paperback I discovered something unusual. This comic book was about ME!

It seemed to me that I should keep this illustrated article under wraps (I'm 100% positive this is why Chris and Leah sent it to me), but since I really don't care about revealing personal or unofficial details relating to myself I figured I would just post this entire item as a blog. If I mysteriously vanish anytime soon then the Feds have probably apprehended me due to the unauthorized clearance of displaying the documentation below. But this is a risk I am willing to take considering that this story made me laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes while reading a few parts, and I can't keep all of this hilarity to myself by any means.

In case you are wondering who are Chris and Leah Karner then please let me explain. Chris and I were once college roommates several years ago and since then he has been one of the funniest people I know. Chris met Leah a few years later and then they got married in Clearwater, Florida. I met Leah during the weekend of their wedding and since then Chris and Leah have been the funniest married couple I know. Now that all of this is cleared up please enjoy the comic book gift Chris and Leah sent to me.





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8.17.2008

Altamonte Apple Store Grand Opening

Marcus and I heard through the interweb that a grand opening for an Apple Store was happening near by, and since we both had never been to a grand opening we decided to see what all the hubbub was about. We also wanted to be the one of the first people to smudge up some brand new iPhones on display.





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The staff over at the Sunglass Hut were terrified by the line forming right outside their store. They began to panic thinking the people were unsatisfied customers by discovering the ultra polarizing lens protection scam.





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The Motherhood Maternity store was raking in the greens as usual until an uncommon commotion developed outside in the hallway, which led every single curious shopper out of the store.





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It appeared that another Apple Store has made it's way into the central Florida area for people to wander inside without any purpose of buying anything.





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Going to an Apple Store grand opening makes me very excited, which often times causes my head to stretch horizontally.





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I was so excited I had to look away so I could calm down.





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Then I looked back at the store and I even got Marcus excited before we headed in.





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All of the Apple Store employees in orange and blue T-shirts were ignoring me for some reason.





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Marcus caught my contagious case of "Apple Retail Store Grand Opening" excitement.





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I continued to expand my excitement throughout the store, but next time I'll have to work on spreading it behind me as well.





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My face was starting to stretch horizontally from the exhilaration, so I tried to calm down a bit.





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Marcus and I test out a camera on a 20-inch 2.4GHz Intel Core 2 Duo iMac. Fully equipped with 1GB memory.....





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.....250GB hard drive.....





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.....8x double-layer SuperDrive.....




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.....and of course, an ATI Radeon HD 2400XT with 128MB memory. DUH!





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I was in awe of the All-in-One iMac and it's graphical depiction of the physical universe beyond the earth's atmosphere.





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Marcus and I continue to peruse this fine establishment.





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We had to show off our cool new Apple shirts that will surely take us to the top on anyone's popularity list.





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Marcus spotted an iPhones out on display and began to smudge it up good.





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I joined in on the fun as well!





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After leaving our permanent smears on the 3G iPhones we figured that it was time to go.....





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.....which was a good thing too because those little 3G gadgets "called" a monster iPhone and was about to nab me.






I usually exit every Apple Retail Store in this manner.




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Marcus rates the security for the grand opening one wounded thumbs up!





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Now that we were both out of the store we decided to go our separate ways to end the awkward silence.





You have reached the end.