Pepsi 400 in Daytona Beach

The Daytona Beach bridge was very kind for welcoming everyone.






I'm ready to see my first Daytona race!






I forgot I needed to wear my camouflage hat so NOW I'm officially ready to see my first Daytona race.






These fine people are also ready for some hardcore racin'.






Here I am inside the forbidden Pepsi race car that was on DISPLAY ONLY. As you can see the car was a little too small for my huge body.






Now we're inside the stadium where people are partying hard down on the huge lawn. There's no rules at Daytona...except for staying off the huge Pepsi 400 logo in the grass.






...and to also stay off the huge Daytona logo.






Here are some people playing some crappy music on the Pepsi 400 stage.






My friends Erin and Chad were excited about the race, but they also did not care too much for the crappy band on the Pepsi 400 stage.






The Goodyear blimp finally decided to show up.






Rudolf Giuliani and his wife decided to take over the Pepsi 400 stage for a little while.






Someone forgot to bring the green flag for the beginning of the race so UPS had to deliver it in the coolest way possible.






The UPS dude is makin' his way to that awesome Pepsi 400 stage with the green flag.






Then the Army showed up and had to show off their flag.






And if that wasn't enough, the government sent some fighter jets by to top it off.






I was sort of impressed.






Chad was impressed enough to take a few 2.1 megapixel pics with his camera.






Oh crap, someone's stealing the Pepsi 400 stage very slowly!







The fighter jets had some more fuel to waste so they came back for another lap around the stadium.






There's one of them.....






.....and there it goes.






Now the drivers are revin' up their engines.






Erin waits ever-so patiently for the race to start.






They're making their way off to the track.






It's time for Chad to focus on the race.






I didn't know this before, but they make a few laps around the track before they actually start the race.






So here they are going by real slow-like.






It was sorta fast...but not too fast.






Here they come for another warm-up lap.






One more lap and then it's time for the race to officially begin.






The race finally began and I was excited for race cars, loud noises and Pepsi.






I quickly learned that race fans love noise and to provide more of it in addition to the automobiles they have megaphones all around the stadium.






One of the megaphones was fairly close to our seats and it was very annoying after a while.






So I climbed up the pole and stuck the biggest cork I could find in it.






The cars are kickin' it into high gear.






Here they are again.






After all that excitement I had to go pee.






But because the stadium was so large I couldn't find the bathroom right away.






I knew at this point time was of the essence.....






.....and there was only one thing I could do.






I had to get up on the beams and bust out my Spider-Man moves to find a bathroom quickly.






I swung around low at first.....






.....then I went high and got a little scared.






But I soon overcame the fear of heights and started sliding around for fun.






This move was sick! I don't know if I could do it again.






I was getting a little dizzy so I decided to come in for a landing.






I realized that I just landed right in front of the Men's room.






Then I remembered why I was swinging around in the first place and quickly ran into the bathroom.






It was the greatest pee ever.






Then I realized that I was missing the Pepsi 400 race and needed to get back to my seat quickly.






I wanted to take it easy and just use the stairs.....






.....but stairs are for suckers so I got back up on the beams again.






I found a decent spot to watch the race but it was a bit uncomfortable.






Then I wanted to get a closer look so I threw a quarter near a police officer and climbed the fence when she wasn't looking.






I should have looked both ways before I crossed the road because I almost got hit, but on the upside there was a pretty sweet crash that everyone seemed to have enjoyed.






Sorry dude.






Really, I'm sorry. Dude.






After that I went back to my seat and watched the race quietly while Chad was going nuts behind me.






Here are some cars going around.....






.....and around.....






.....and around....






.....and around some more.






Chad is once again focused in on the race.






WHOOAAAA....SWEET CRASH!!!






Here it comes skidding down the road.






It made it on the lawn but at least it didn't run over the Pepsi 400 logo.






I got up to the highest point I could in the bleachers to take this picture.






I got scared from being up so high again so I went back to my seat.






Here's a nice picture of Erin, Chad and ME! ME, ME, ME!!!!!






It's the last lap for the night and the cars are making it towards the finish line while another car crash is happening in the back.






The race is over!






Here's the loser car!






FIREWORKS!!!!!






The loser car had to get out of the way so that the winner car could drive around in the lawn.






Yeah...you tear up that lawn!






And pollute the air!






The fireworks are still going on.






And now the winner is up on some stage celebrating with other people. I don't know where the other drivers are but I'm sure they are being punished in some inhumane way.






Now that the Pepsi 400 is over it was time for the spectators to leave, but I stuck around because I was no mere spectator. No, I'm much more than that. I cannot belong in that crowd because I'm not like them. I'm different. But the good kind of different...not the freak kind of different. The kind of different that is essentially a very special gift. I have the gift, I have the power. And with great power comes great responsibility. That is why I cannot live the life of a spectator. I must stay in the stadium at Daytona Beach and swing around all day hoping to find another bathroom. For I am.....The BriGuy.




The End?